Finding the right balance

Lucky you live Hawaii?

If it seems like I have something against Hawaii, or against rich people, I should elaborate. I'm trying to say that too much wealth, parachuting in from elsewhere, causes frustrations and problems. At least, that's been so in Hawaii. Even the born-and-bred kama'aina elite have complaints about the invasion of off-shore nouveaux riche.

People really want to connect "Hawaii" with "Happy". Tell them that things aren't always happy in Hawaii and they get vexed.

Residents admonish: "Eh, no talk stink! Be nice!" Visitors say: "We went there and had a wonderful time! Hawaii is fantastic!"

If you must shoot the messenger, better go buy a bunch of bullets. Because it isn’t just me who heaves a heavy sigh when thinking about Hawaii today.

I just met an older gentleman--at a very happy party. It came out that he'd grown up in L------. A drop-dead gorgeous beach, that started out with not-too fancy houses, and wide-open yards. People started to ask him about it. His face fell. He looked like he wanted to spit. Or cry. He answered: "I never go back. It's been ruined. Nothing but walls, mansions and cars."

Joni Mitchell's classic "Big Yellow Taxi" was reportedly inspired by a visit to Hawaii.

Don't it always seem to go
that you don’t know what you've got till it's gone
They paved paradise
and put up a parking lot

In the 1970's the group Country Comfort had a big hit with this unofficial anthem of discontent:

Tired and worn I woke up this mornin'
found that I was confused.
Spun right around and found I had lost
the things that I couldn't lose.

The beaches they sell
to build their hotels
my fathers and I once knew.
The birds all along, the sunlight at dawn
singing Waimanaolo blues.

(Waimanalo Blues, by Thor Wold and Liko Martin)

Degrees of depression on this subject are closely linked to one's sense of loss. What do you remember? What did you lose?

Certainly there are plenty of things to enjoy in Hawaii! No question, it remains a beautiful place. One of my Dad's cousins says she loves the changes. She observes how much more there is to see and do now, compared to her childhood on Oahu. Many people feel that way.

But scratch a native Hawaiian, an environmentalist, or any young couple shut out of the housing market and you're likely to uncover a deep well of pain and confusion.

Is that a surrender to depression, or is that the simple truth?

Just after writing this as a draft, I went to my bank in Honolulu to update a problematic checking account. The account representative, whom I would have taken for a "local" from Hawaii, noted my Canadian address and launched into an enthusiastic conversation. Turns out, he grew up in up-state New York, attended Cornell, has been to Ontario often and loves Toronto. A Hawaii resident for 11 years now, I asked him how he liked it here. He expressed simple optimism, but with such conviction, that my spirit was lifted.

"I've lived in many places", he said. "New York State, New York City, Singapore, Hawaii. The thing is, there is no perfect place! You just have to accept the bad--and appreciate the good. There are lots of good things about Hawaii!"

Amen, brother. And thank you for sharing that.